Ja Ja Ja Ja Jadeeeeeeeed

Law school has won. It has made me cynical. I was cynical before but now it's the dead-look-in-your-eyes, scoff-at-the-valentine's-day-section, sneer-at-small-cute-things-for-no-reason type of cynical. It was bound to happen I suppose but it's still disheartening. I took a little side trip this weekend for an interview and along the way was given ample opportunities to sneer. It didn't help that I had to interact with civilians (you know, the non-law school folk). So here is an open letter to the people who may have received an internal sneer:

To the woman who replied "oh how wonderful, you go to law school!": just the fact that you used "wonderful" and "law school" in the same sentence is mind blowing. Sit in on one civ pro class and then say that....I dare you.

To the undergrad girl in the university lobby where the interview was held who said she was "prepared for law school": no, you're really not. No matter how many books you read, how many outlines you peruse, how many flash cards you study. No one is "prepared" for law school. Law school is a terrifying alien universe. Go in thinking you're prepared and you'll be doomed. Accept that you aren't and it wont be as bad. Trust me.

To the cab driver who told me I should have gone to med school instead: thanks arse, but I can't do math!

And finally, to the flight attendant who provided the liquor: I may have sneered when you said "have a nice day" but I pretty much worshipped the ground you walked on when you handed me wine.

Advice to 0L's

You've decided to go to law school, have you? well, as you begin this, dare I call it "interesting" journey there are a few things you should know. And because I really feel for those of you starting out and the nervous butterflies that seem to be hyped up on speed flying within your stomachs, below I have compiled a list of do's and dont's. Enjoy!



Do:
-buy Glannon's Guide to civ pro. The man is a savior. seriously.

-keep your mouth shut about your high school/college/real world accomplishments. No one likes a bragger and additionally everyone around you is equally if not smarter than you are. You all got in because you deserved it so no need to try to one-up anyone.

-make friends with 2Ls and 3Ls and try to get hints on the teaching styles of each prof. you have. This will give you a heads up on what kind of notes you should be taking in class.

-buy the book Law School Confidential. This is the law school bible. Read it cover to cover, then reread it.

-keep your life private. Everyone says this but it is worth repeating. Law school is like high school but about 100,000,000 times worse in respect to gossip. EVERYTHING you do, EVERYONE you hang out with or study with will be the topic of conversation. Gossip is part of law school unfortunately. What you need to realize is that the people you go to school with are your colleagues. Whatever reputation you earn in law school could haunt you for a very, very long time. Discretion is key here.

-keep in touch with friends and family. Trust me, even when you are short on time and stressed to the max, it'll help your sanity and temper to talk to someone outside of the law school world who can calm you down and be a support. Don't neglect these people!!!! They are just as vital to your success in law school as studying is. Really, I wouldn't lie to you.

-realize that you will get called on (damn Socratic method) and you won't have the right answer sometimes. It sucks, it can feel incredibly humiliating, and you feel like you aren't smart enough to be in law school, especially when someone else answers that same question right. Realize that you are there to learn, you don't know everything, and that the person who got the right answer probably will miss a few down the road as well. Keep chugging along, persistence really pays of in law school.

-go to office hours and make friends with the prof. Just go in and say you want to introduce yourself and you will be in such and such class with them. This will get the ball rolling and you may even get yourself a mentor out of it.
-bring a laptop to class. It'll make your life a lot easier and your notes more legible.

Don't:
-date in law school unless you are darn tootin sure that this is the person you want to have happily every forever with. Remember you will see this person EVERYDAY for THREE YEARS. If things end badly, you're just going to give yourself another reason to skip class.

-skip class. ever. EVER! This is not undergrad. If you miss a class you are really screwing yourself over because the material builds on previous material. You miss a block and the whole shabang comes tumbling down. If you absolutely must miss class then make sure you have someone who can take notes for you.

-fall behind on reading. It'll take you three times as long to catch up again and you're just piling on the stress for yourself.

-avoid eye contact in class with the professor. You are pretty much guaranteeing you will get called on. Socratic method sucks like that.

-be loud in the library. Just don't do it. Few things are as obnoxious as someone munching on chips or pounding on their laptop keys.


That's it for now kiddos. If you're really nice I may even do a follow up post on how to start outlines and brief cases....oh joy!

Quotables

Coolest Contracts Prof. was on a roll today:

Prof. K (for all you 0L's, K is shorthand for contract): Holy crap, our next class is Friday, you're going to be dead! I should bring something in here... like speed!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Student 1 :They had parquet floor…?
Student 2: (corrects pronunciation) par-kaaaaaaaay….
Prof. K: butter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also, Nicest Civ Pro Prof:

Student: (after making semi lame joke and receiving no response from Prof.) I was just joking.
Civ Pro Prof (with straight face): I knew that, I was just trying to generate my laugh
Class bursts into laughter.

Moments like these making going to class worth it....also, when the gunner gets called out for a stupid hypothetical by the professor....that makes it worth it too.

Random Thoughts

It's snowing...again. It's like I'm in that movie Groundhog Day. Gah!

I was a very good girl and stayed away from cakes and sweets these past two weeks. No sign that this sort of self-control will continue as this week is surely to be a huge bitch.

I lost one of my fuzzy socks in my apartment. I swear it's no where to be found. Please refer to first random thought if you are wondering why I am so hell bent on finding it.

Have you ever had a funny thought while out in public by yourself? I did yesterday and I started giggling. You wouldn't imagine how many people start giving you a wide berth after that!

If you are a 0L: do not go to law school because you are not sure what to do with your life. Trust me, you have to really be interested in it to get through the mounds of reading you have every week. Unfortunately there are many in my class who didn't take that advice and are paying a dear price for it now through utter misery.

I made chili dogs the other day for dinner. It. Was. Glorious. Never mind that this was because I was just too lazy to go shopping for food.


To the person who commented "Whoa, bitchy much?" on one of my posts: Yes, it was bitchy! It's supposed to be bitchy! Bitchy is funny at times! And most importantly, it's my blog and I can be bitchy if I want to :-) But thanks for commenting! Glad we got that all cleared up.

Stop Looking Cute!!!

Dear Primping Preening Undergraduate Girls:

Look a gym is where you go to torture your squishy parts into submission so that they eventually leave your body. It is NOT a place to have matching Nike gear from head to foot-- in pink. Nor is it the place to wear full makeup, or flirt, or talk on your cell phone, or to just sit on the stretching mats for 2 hours stretching and looking cute. It's just not. Because in comparison to all you little cutesy sorostitutes I look like a sweating mass of nastiness. So quit making me look bad! You're supposed to shake, shudder, grunt and twitch a little sometimes. You're supposed to leave sweat marks on the mats and then crawl out of there on jelly legs. I'm warning you. Next time, I reserve the right to spray you with the sanitizing spray. Don't make me do it.

Law School Is Out To Get Me

As if first semester wasn't hard enough, law school has thrown another class into the mix this semester; criminal law. Interesting subject but sometimes I wish I could just say "hey law school, it's awesome that you want me to experience another subject but....no thanks, I'm all booked!"

Also a hazy, anxiety riddled gloom has settled over everyone as we have not yet received our grades for the first semester. I have never dreaded/wanted to know something more than I want to know my grades. So I've been distracting myself (in between the times when I check my student account for grades....about every hour if you were wondering) by dividing my time between studying and cooking yummy goodness in the kitchen. If you have any good recipes for a cake and feel like passing it on it would be much appreciated!! 

Excuse Me 2009? Make Room

I'm not really a New Year's resolutions kind of girl but this year I'm changing things up a bit and I'm going to toss a few out there just for kicks. 

1. Health-keeping up with the gym (this won't be a problem since I love working out)
2. Traveling-yes, I know I'm on limited funds but I will forcibly be scheduling travel into my schedule this semester, and I'd like most of it to be solo trips since I haven't done too many by myself.
3. Ferosh-ness- self-explanatory. And if you don't know, it may be time to go work on it yourself too!
4. Law School-oh ya, and not to fail out of law school. that'd be nice.

Any resolutions you would all like to share?? Oh come on now, don't be shy!

Drop The Shoe!

There is a reason I rarely go to those after holiday sales but I momentarily forgot and so the day after Christmas I agreed to go shopping with my mom at the mall. Let me start off by saying elderly people are vicious when it comes to parking spots. We were beat out not once, not twice, but THREE times by elderly folk who swooped in to take the parking spot we had so patiently been waiting for. And it's not like you can yell and scream at them when they walk out of the car all stooped over and gentle looking. 

Well after finding a spot and entering the mall I can only sum up the scene in one word: pandemonium. The state of the economy really doesn't help because now that everyone is making a concerted effort to look for a bargain, it seems we have entered into retail world war III. I even got smacked in the head by a shoe! It was tossed over one of the racks which was intended to be caught by a friend of the tosser, but my head intercepted it instead. I just stood there shocked. I glanced over at a shoe salesman who just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders as if this was nothing out of the ordinary and my head shouldn't have been in the way. Thanks buddy. Remind me the next time I'm trying on shoes to accidentally knock you in the head with a stiletto while you're kneeling at my feet. 

And don't even TRY to snag a dressing room to try something on. These women all of a sudden turned into linebackers once a room was available. It was unbelievable. Nope, you're better off just dropping whatever garment over your head right on the sales floor and checking yourself out in your compact.

We made it through three stores before I gave up. From now on, you can find me online looking for deals. It's just way too hazardous out there for me. 

Law School Is Good For....

!Warning: bitter post below!

1. procrastinating adulthood....slightly
2. helping you in your goals of becoming a hermit
3. drowning out/forgetting your sorrows with piles of reading and work
4. helping escape reality and develop imagination (damn you rule against perpetuities)
5. gaining weight
6. becoming single again
7. helping push you over that edge between genius and madness....hopefully more the genius side but madness has been known to occur
8. encouraging you to join new clubs (like AA)
9. teaching you a whole new level of sarcasm and cynicism
10. going into debt